February 02, 2010
As I have thought about what to write today I have reflected on a few things that happened to me this past week. The messages we have been hearing on the news are so inconsistent that I wonder what is really going on. I keep coming back to the same conclusion, we are spoiled, and have spoiled our children. The work ethic of the past seems to have become extinct. These are tough economic times but so many are still not treating them as such.
This week I heard about a friend who had a collector car. It was one of those “hot rods” every boy wanted to own in high school. He sold it this week because of the tough economic times. Really? I guess our definitions are very different as his wife still gets manicures and pedicures, makes trips to the mall so she will have the “right look” and belongs to the gym. All of that would be fine but they have no food storage and still have kids at home. When are they going to understand tough economic times means we need to put the credit card back in our pockets and we need to cut out all the extras that most people in the world live without. I continue to get my hair done but I barter for the luxury. My hair dresser has accumulated 72 hour and car kits for her family and I feel pampered.
Another friend of mine, who is a single mom, had her daughter move out this week and decide to go live with a friend. Life became too hard at home as mom actually expected her to go get a job to help pay for her own cell phone. This girl had no chores around the house except to do her laundry and keep her bathroom clean. What has happened to our society when our kids move out when asked to do simple things? Even more important is the question when did a mom allow someone else’s child move in? All of this makes me very frightened for the future.
It is time for all of us to take account of our priorities. Do we really NEED the items we want to purchase? Today I spoke with a friend who has lost her job. We were discussing another friend who is having a hard time financially. My friend mentioned that this second friend only shopped at the thrift stores for her clothes. That is great but does she really need new clothes? No, she doesn’t, so why is she spending any money at all, even if it is only a few dollars?
The best way to save money during this tough time is to really questions every penny we spend. Last year I asked you to commit for one week to spend no money except on gas to get to work. I told you the very first day I wanted to stop to get hamburgers off the dollar menu. That was cheap but I didn’t do it. The next day there was another temptation. It was hard to walk away but I did. Since that time I have really tried to analze my purchases and the real reasons I was making those choices.
If we want our children to thrive during the next years we must help them to learn to work, earn and save. We must. If you are afraid your children and grandchildren will rebel, well, just expect it, they will. I have never met an adult who complained about their parents making them work and save. I have met many who never learned because their parents wanted to be friends more than they wanted to be parents. Those children suffer as adults. They feel cheated because they don’t know how to manage money and therefore never seem to get ahead, unless they charge it! We have seen that “charge it” mentality grow over the last few decades, and in the end, many of those people are now losing their homes, having cars repossessed and having to sell furniture to pay bills. May I be so blod as to say that if you really, truly love your children and grandchildren you will teach them to work and to save.
We can discuss thousands of ways to save money. We have already talked about dozens. None of this will really relieve the problem until we question every purchase we make and ask ourselves, do we really need this? As your children see you practice this you will save money on all the things they think they needs as they learn to determine if they really have a need or just a want.
Many do not understand how to help to teach the work ethic or how to teach saving. Will you please share what you have done in your family or how your parents taught you.
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Wow! I agree with you wholeheartedly. We, as parents, need to stop contributing to the popularity contests our kids are in and focus on the things they really need to learn to thrive in this game of life!
“There is no end to the craving. Hence, contentment alone is the best way to happiness. Therefore, acquire contentment.”-Swami Sivanana
Amen! That is a great, great post! (Last night I wanted something sweet-ice cream-and wanted hubby to stop on the way home for some. No, I thought, I can have a graham cracker at home. So, I did. It fulfilled that sweet craving and it was already purchased.)